Taking It Step by Step

09 Dec

Greg Quinlan vs. Wayne Besen

For anyone wondering, the title is nothing more than reference made to a “step-by-step” description of recent events surrounding the outlandish claims of Greg Quinlan. Quinlan describes himself as an ex-gay and a “lobbyist” for families.

(Personally, I could not care less what a person’s sexual orientation is. If they once identified as gay and now claim to be straight, it’s their right even if I’ve my doubts as to whether someone who is gay “can ever, in all honesty” convert to heterosexuality. Too many of these so-called conversions have later expressed regret over their false claims of homo-sobriety only to then admit they have been and always will be attracted to members of the same gender.)

Quinlan states, “I’ve known thousands of homosexuals and I’ve never met someone who was not introduced to sex at an early age, generally with the same sex.Bullshit Alert! He never met me. I’m forty-eight, a homosexual, had a great family life growing up (which has carried over into my adult life) and the only sex I had as a child and teen was with myself, slapping the willy around just as the vast majority of other pubescent teens have admitted to having done if they’re being honest about it.

Even though I had long since realized and accepted I was gay, I did not have sex with another person until after my twenty-first birthday (this is the God’s-honest truth though some reading might claim otherwise; whatever). I’m not saying my experience is representative of all homosexuals; I’m certain it isn’t. Everybody has their own story to tell—everybody’s life and his or her situation growing up is different.

The point is, Greg Quinlan and many others who argue that homosexuality is a sin or is counter-productive to family values, make these outlandish claims as if such statements are an accurate portrayal of all LGBTQ persons. They throw the rhetoric out there, as if it carries more weight than the statements made by those who are gay and have no problem with their sexual orientation. I believe that much of what motivates the ex-gay to say and do the things he or she does, is simply an attempt to “fit in and be accepted by those who have been judging them throughout their lives,” causing the individual to feel badly about him- or herself. Those detractors who base their criticism of homosexuals on ignorance or justify same with mistranslated or misunderstood Bible scripture, just like any other group scrambling to gain traction for their message of intolerance (and perhaps even hate), will stop at nothing to cast the subject of their prejudice in a negative light. Is it so unlikely to think the ex-gay, in an attempt to gain their [previously established] tormentor’s admiration and approval, cannot emulate that same behavior? It happens far more often than many would like to admit.

In the case of Quinlan, he accuses Wayne Besen of encouraging others to harm him through statements such as “somebody needs to run Greg [Quinlan] over; he needs to be hit with a bus. Somebody should inject him with AIDS. Those are the things that Wayne Besen and Truth Wins Out says about me.” STRONG, libelous allegations according to Wayne Besen and Truth Wins Out, who claim the indictments were never made. The law offices of Michael B. Hamar PC (representing Truth Wins Out and Besen in the matter) sent a strongly worded letter on December 7th to Greg Quinlan in care of the organization, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, of which Mr. Quinlan is the President. The letter, which you can view a copy of here, outlines all of the steps PFOX, its Executive Director (Regina Griggs) and Mr. Quinlan will need to take within five days; otherwise, TWO and Mr. Besen have put the organization on notice that they will seek relief in a court of law.

I doubt that TWO would have gone to all the effort of hiring an attorney for something like this unless they felt very strongly that the plaintiff clearly and knowingly made false allegations. To put it another way, I believe Greg Quinlan, in his hurry to gain media attention and the approval of others, has really stepped in a pile of shit this time.

Lest you think that I admire and respect everything that Wayne Besen has done and said over the years, that isn’t so much the case. He can at times be rather aggressive, cocky and (imo) something of a weight around the ankles when it comes to our (the LGBTQ community’s) quest for tolerance, acceptance and equality. I say the same thing about others, like Dan Savage for instance. But even so, some of what they do and say are things with which I can agree. Just as with any other individual or organized group, you take the bad with the good—or you walk away.

If you want to watch the interview in which Quinlan makes his ridiculous allegations against Besen, or you want to read a response I made to Wayne Besen about his aggressive attitude toward another poster who had commented on one of the pages where the interview was made available, you can do so here.


Related Links:

  • “Ex-Gay” Leader Plays Victim Card — As Do Others on Right
  • Should Truth Wins Out Sue PFOX and Greg Quinlan for Defamation? → There are some good points being made in the comments section of this article.
  • I Am a Man“Ex-Gay” Greg Quinlan Defends Marcus Bachmann’s Right to Counsel Unhappy Homosexuals (their words; not mine) ← While I would agree that Marcus Bachmann has the right to counsel others, I do think he’s doing those who are gay a great disservice by guiding them into reparative therapy! I think such therapy is one of the biggest loads of bat-shit that exists in the world today but that’s my opinion. (Meanwhile, I laugh my ass off every time another one of the conservative’s so-called “ex-gays” turns tail and says, “Nope! Still gay! It was all a bunch of hocus-pocus and ya’ know(?), a leopard just cannot changes it’s spots. So sorry!” *sigh*)
  • Greg Quinlan | Facebook profile
  • Greg Quinlan’s anti-PFLAG ‘hate’ meme: Ex-appropriate
  • Reaping the “benefits” → An “Ex-Gay” who pretends to speak for all those who are LGBTQ, inasmuch as why we are on a quest for marriage equality. As I indicated in my comment on another’s blog, her [Peggy’s] views on the subject matter of marriage equality are hers and hers’ alone. I seriously doubt that they represent the views of the larger majority of persons who are in same-sex relationships and/or are singly homosexual and support marriage equality. For myself and many others, it is all about being afforded the same civil rights and protections that any other couple enjoys here in the states. Furthermore, the article makes it seem as though the “10,207 households” consisting of same-sex couples in Minnesota, “according to the 2010 Census” is an insignificant number. Bullshit! That number represents 10,207 families (some of which I imagine, include children) who are unable to enjoy the protections that a marriage would afford them were they so inclined. Yes, they can attain “SOME of” the same protections through legal documents but not all of them and even then, why should same-sex couples be required to spend extra $$ on attorney fees and increased health-care costs (ie. separate policies) when all that any other couple (of the opposite sex) has to do is make a trip to the town hall for a civil ceremony? At any rate, she’s presently identifying as an “Ex-Gay” — begs the question, “How long before she too says, ‘Just kidding! Still gay…”

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About The Author

54-years old and determined to sail through life with a smile (but sometimes brash as hell). LOL. Born and raised in Carlsbad, New Mexico but having lived more than half of my life in Texas. Raised with a strong faith in God but describe myself more as simply a faithful person rather than a Christian. (Too many people rely on their religious 'beliefs' as an excuse to maintain a closed mind rather than emulate the loving nature I believe Jesus Christ did represent.) Registered as a Democrat but fiscally I'm probably more likely to identify with the Republicans. Am equally disgusted with both parties at the moment and tired of the status quo in Washington, D.C. I'm a spiritualist who believes you should reach for your dreams and believes you can attain them, for the only thing that really stands between you and your goals ... is yourself. Favorite quote of recent is "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, the present is a 'present' (a gift)..." —Author unknown

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  1. How to Deal with Homosexual Advoacates « Illuminati360

    December 9, 2011 at 9:03 am

    […] and I were visiting Michael’s latest post . Michael is a gay ‘rights’ activist. Nicola and I are not. I try to respect […]

  2. D.

    December 9, 2011 at 6:45 am

    PLEASE POST THIS COMMENT THE OTHER HAD MANY TYPOS: I woke up this morning at my usual time at 430. One of the first things I do is check out your blog and see what you have written. By the time I had finished Nicola had woke up. He comes downstairs to the computer room and sits beside me. I asked him to read this post as I went to my room to put in my gym clothing. I came back and asked him what he thought of the post he told me. I then asked him how should I reply. His answer was simple, “why reply? What would be the point?”.

     Him and I left for the gym, on returning he gets in the shower before his job. I thought how do I reply to this post without starting another argument? I think that would be impossible. I would like to say though, if  a person came up to me and the person told me me they were no longer attracted to the same-sex I would be happy for them. I would not discourage or ridicule them. I am unsure why “ex-gays” are viewed as a threat to homosexuals. I myself am no longer a homosexual nor am I gay. I do have SSA/SSI but I no longer engage in homosexual behavior. I left that. I evolved too much to return to that way of life. I am very happy right now in stage of life. I am living the life Christ asked of me and a life of sacramental grace. Which has given to me great treasures and joy. I am very content. We have different opinions, you and I regarding homosexual behavior. In closing there are two rules of thumb when I now deal with homosexual activists
    Two rules of thumb:

    First rule of thumb- Activists accuse others so much it’s the modern version of the boy who cried wolf

    Second rule of thumb – Routine accusations by activists are true in reverse.

    When activists routinely accuse others of bigotry, activists are being bigoted.

    When they routinely accuse opponents of hate, activists are being hateful.

    When they routinely accuse others of bullying, activists are being bullies.

    When they routinely accuse opponents of intolerance, activists are showing their intolerance for views other than their own.

    When they routinely accuse opponents of prejudice, its because activists can’t see past their own prejudice.

    When they routinely accuse opponents of homophobia its because activists are “phobic” about homophobia or are heterophobic. 

    Notice I did not say ‘gay’s’ or persons with SSI, but activists. Not all gays think like activists. I would be unfair to generalize the entire gay populations because of political and secular ideology of activists.

    I am not going to debate rather homosexual sex acts are sinful. I think be both know how I stand on this. Anyways thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak here. Have a blessed weekend. 

    • MichaelM

      December 9, 2011 at 7:28 am

      Firstly, I wouldn’t discourage or ridicule somebody if they approached me, told me they no longer identified as a homosexual and left it at that. What a person does with his or her own life is their own business; I’m not going to judge that individual for it, provided they’re not hurting somebody else. That said, I don’t believe reparative therapy is healthy “as a general rule.” Many of the programs I have heard about are draconian and nothing short of torture (some going so far as to implement shock therapy combined with imagery of naked men/women/couples in varying stages of undress and torturing the participant anytime they are aroused by photos of the same gender).

      People have been totally screwed up in these programs, their lives forever changed and not for the better I might add. But if somebody wishes to willingly submit to such a program and comes out of it having convinced themselves they are no longer a homosexual, that’s fine. I only ask that they not push that kind of crap on those who aren’t interested or unable to refuse “treatment” because they’re underage and their so-called well meaning families are insisting they undergo the process. That is and remains my issue with reparative programs.

      I would disagree with you that anyone who identifies as an ex-gay is viewed “as a threat” by homosexuals. Again, who a person chooses to have a relationship with or what he or she does in his/her bedroom has no bearing whatsoever on my life (nor on the lives of any other LGBTQ person). I don’t see them as a threat to myself, but… Given how damaging I feel reparative therapy is, I do see those who are actively “attempting to push such programs” on others as a clear and present danger to young gay men and women who are still struggling to come to terms with who and what they are).

      As for your own life and peace of mind, I’m glad you are happy. As someone that I consider to be a friend, I wouldn’t want anything else for you (but for you to be happy with your life).

      With regard to the rules, I suppose the following would be true, as well:

      Those who are constantly describing homosexuals as engaging in sin and always claiming that being a homosexual is indicative of a sick mind that is only preoccupied with sex and self-gratification (arguments put forth often by the majority of those who take issue with homosexuality) must themselves be actively sinning and entirely preoccupied with sex. I mean, if we’re going to simplify it to the extent to which you’ve described, it only stands to reason. You can’t apply the rules you have described to those you perceive as being gay activists and not apply the very same principle to activists on the opposing side of the issue (and trust me, those who are actively pushing their own beliefs on an entire group of people that they believe are “not conforming to their own way of life” are definitely behaving as activists.) Greg Quinlan, Richard Cohen and Arthur Abba Goldberg (among others) ARE activists.

      I’ll let you have the last word, if you like but I know where you stand on the subject matter and you know as well, where I stand. I hope that you have a blessed weekend too, Davide.

      • D.

        December 9, 2011 at 9:19 am

        There is no point arguing over this therapy. But no one has been saying gay persons must go to therapy. There is two sides of the coin Michael you left out how the thousands of people have received grace and blessings from such therapy. The evidence is overwhelming. Of course three are failures but the success rates are hugely successful. Remember these are people who seek change not a force change, nothing is written in stone. Every time I hear of a person who has left the homosexual lifestyle I think of how much fuller and grace filled their lives will be. I do wish them happiness and successful lives. They are courageous and deserve our praises not scorn. This is the Christian way of life.

      • D.

        December 9, 2011 at 9:20 am

        Oh btw I left a post and linked it to your blog. I think many of my viewers would be more happy here. Thanks

        • MichaelM

          December 9, 2011 at 8:47 pm

          That’s never a problem (linking to something here) but I honestly don’t expect much to come of it. You’re a young guy with a different POV on a number of the issues you and I discuss; I think those who regularly follow your blog ventured there for those two reasons and that perhaps you have more in common with them than you think. (Regardless, I’m an old fart so I imagine they’ll remain faithful to you. LOL… I had my day in the sun; those days are behind me now. It’s up to you younger guys to shape the future.)