As indicated in an earlier [blog] entry, I’ll continue to focus my thoughts on everything I am thankful for (which is quite a lot) and I refuse to allow the works of those whose actions are born of hate to have their desired effect on me. That does not mean I will ignore the tragedies that are left in the wake of their hatred, however. Bullying a child for any reason is wrong, whether the abuse comes from another child or an adult. Sadly, there is a lot of bullying that is originating from BOTH these days; most notably (at the moment), from those who are trying to secure the nomination for the Republican ticket in the upcoming presidential election and as well, from the uber-conservative “we’ve got a stick up our arse” State of Tennessee!
This entry isn’t going to be a full-on rant but understand one thing… I will revise the entry each and every time I hear of yet another child or young adult whose suicide or death is somehow related to LGBTQ intolerance and bullying. It isn’t intended to be a depressing blog entry (though by its very nature it will be).
Rather, it is a reminder to any who read it of just how many senseless deaths are taking place in this one year (2012) alone as a consequence of prejudice and intolerance.
“God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.”
My heart is heavy and my prayers are with each and every one of these unique individuals. I will be praying for each soul whose earthly body was discarded as a consequence of the senseless hatred that exists and is openly demonstrated toward those who are, or are only perceived to be, different from their straight counterparts.
It is time that we put the needs of the bullied AHEAD of the so-called rights of those who justify their bullying by claiming that their interpretation of their faith allows and/or encourages THEM to judge another human being as “less than” on the basis of his or her sexual orientation. That was NOT the message of Jesus Christ and if some uber-conservative feels that it was, he (or she) is horribly mistaken.
Peace be with you,
Michael
[ This page/entry will be moved ahead of other entries as the statistics change and the need arises. ]
If you are aware of other LGBTQ youth or young adults who have taken their lives as a consequence of bullying, or were the subject of a hate crime that resulted in their death, please provide a response with their name in the comments section below so that I can research the matter and update the list here.
Most importantly, if you are a young teen struggling with depression and complex issues relating to bullying and/or family and friends who don’t seem to be supportive of you for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, remember… Suicide is not the answer; it is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. Your life is precious and you are perfect just as you are. Don’t allow the ignorance of others to make you feel as though you’re a lesser person. God created you in His image, perfect in every way (including your sexual orientation). If you are having problems seeing that for yourself and are having thoughts of suicide, please call:
The Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.
You owe it to yourself to see just how wonderful your own life can one day be.
It’s too late for those whose photos and names appear below but it’s not too late to save yourself.
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June 2, 2012
Brandon Elizares‘s mother says he was constantly bullied at school, threatened to be stabbed and as well to be set on fire. At the age of sixteen it was simply too much for this sixteen year-old Andres High School student, who took his own life on Saturday.
[Google search results]
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April 22, 2012
Yet ANOTHER teenager takes his own life after being bullied for being gay at school. There aren’t a lot of details but what we know about Jack Reese is that he was only 17-years old; was good with computers and loved to play his X-Box games. The youth was learning to speak Japanese as the pressures born of the anti-gay bullying hammered away at him. Alex Smith, his 18-year old boyfriend, was speaking at a community event and was relating how Jack had been the focus of bullying at school when unbeknownst to him, Jack had just taken his own life.
[Google search results]
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April 15, 2012
Kenneth James Weishuhn Jr., fourteen-years-old and only just embarking on what might have been a long and happy adult life. Kenneth came out to his classmates and friends at South O’Brien High School earlier this year, only to experience an unprovoked retaliation “for being different.” It’s reported some of his friends turned against him after discovering he was gay. A page was created on Facebook, whose sole purpose was to allow others to send messages of hate online (and it did not stop there, as the 14-year-old teen had begun to receive death threats on his phone from other students). He is credited for telling his Mom, “You don’t know how it feels to be hated.” Kids shouldn’t have to endure that kind of hate. A page on Facebook, the same social networking site used by his tormentors to bully him, has been created for those who wish to honor his memory.
[Google search results]
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January 20, 2012
Rafael Morelos was only 14-years old when “life” simply became too much for him to bear. The youth who lived in Cashmere (WA) was openly gay and as a consequence, it’s said that he was often the subject of bullying and verbal abuse by his peers. His mother, Malinda Morelos, knew about his sexual orientation but said that she had no idea of the pain that he was living with, nor did she know that he was being bullied at school. In his mother’s own words, “He never told me nothing […] He had a dark side inside him that he never told me his feelings anymore.” For those reading, few [people] will reveal the extent of the pain they are feeling to others. You must be looking for and able to recognize the signs — but more importantly, we ALL need to do a better job of not tolerating abusive and bullying behavior.
[Google search results]
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January 19, 2012
14-year old Phillip Parker of Gordonsville, Tennessee (TN), takes his life because of bullying, according to his family. This was on the heels of yet another teen, Jacob Rogers, who attended Cheatham County Central High School in Ashland City, TN and was bullied for four years running. Jacob took his own life in December of last year (2011). In addition to all of the bullying that LGBTQ children in the bible-belt state of Tennessee must endure, one has to wonder how the latest antigay legislation in the state is factoring into their having lost hope. The Tennessee General Assembly continues to debate legislation such as the “License to Bully“, the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, and the transphobic “Bathroom Bill.”
[Google search results]
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January 11, 2012
19-year old Eric James Borges takes his life only one month after filming an “It Gets Better” video. Eric had wanted to help others but sadly, his involvement with the very project whose focus it is to help LGBTQ youth in crisis was not enough to prevent him from taking his own life. His family had turned him out a couple of months prior, after they discovered he was gay.
[Google search results]
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January 1, 2012
18-year old Jeffrey Fehr of Sacramento, California (CA), hangs himself in the front entrance of his family’s Granite Bay home. Fehr had been bullied for years and his family believes that is what led to his suicide, shortly after completing his first semester at Sierra College.
[Google search results]
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Namaste,
MichaelM
February 3, 2013 at 7:49 pm
Sadly, yet another teen has taken his life because of bullying. Jadin Bell was taken off of life support early this morning after having hung himself at an elementary school near the high school he had attended. So sad.
MichaelM
February 25, 2012 at 11:36 pm
Two good articles (blog entries) worth reading:
Making Nice « Quips and Quills
January 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm
[...] But that faith doesn’t make me any more perfect than the next person; it certainly doesn’t prevent me from making an ass out of myself when I lose my temper or being a bit too harsh and forthcoming with feelings I might have been holding onto for a bit. This is evidenced in one of my responses to a comment made on an earlier blog entry. [...]
Judy Dixon Gabaldon
January 23, 2012 at 9:57 pm
I came here because of the “Panda Therapy” link, but went on to read who you were and what you’re about. Are you on Facebook – and if so, can we be friends there? My name there is Judy Dixon Gabaldon. I like your style, Michael M.
MichaelM
January 23, 2012 at 10:28 pm
Sure, just sent you a friend request over on FB. Glad to have you aboard and please, don’t be a stranger to the blog.
Peace be with you,
Michael
Davide
January 23, 2012 at 10:44 am
My comment should read EACH YEAR10,000 gay teens and young adults are infected with HIV
Davide
January 23, 2012 at 10:42 am
As traffic and preventable as these deaths are there is a much greater crises hitting gay teens and youth (ages 13 to 25). That is HIV and other STDS. according to the CDC 10,000 gay youth are infected with HIV, yet the media and gay community has been virtually silent. Since 2006, HIV rated among gay teens have increased 17 percent. Of course for the gay community to admit there is an epidemic would be a public relations nightmare…so the taboo subject remains unspoken. How many gay teens and young adults died in the last year alone hundreds, thousands? Where is their voice? I have yet seen a gay advocacy site or gay blogger list the names of tees deaths associated with HIV/AIDS. We also can assume these teens and young adults are at higher risks of suicide. But absolutely no one, no one speaks of this. It’s too taboo maybe if we ignore the problem it will go away. When 67 percent of new HIV cases or by active gay men there is a problem, when one out of five active gay men have HIV and half of them don’t even know it there is a problem. HIV is just as preventable as bullying but yet the gay community seems to care very little about this epidemic. I don’t get it Michael you know not All Christians are like Fred Phelps you are him for to much credit. If people would ignore the dickhead he go away. You yourself are a professed Christian so you know this to be true. People have the God given right to reject homosexual behavior no one has the right to reject the homosexual.
MichaelM
January 23, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Same song, different verse… This blog entry is about LGBTQ teens and young adults who took their own lives because of any one or combination of the following: (1) bullying born of prejudice and ignorance, (2) having been turned out of their homes and rejected by their families “because of prejudice and ignorance” or (3) having lost hope because, on top of everything else they’re dealing with while growing up, they are constantly faced with an overwhelming level of negative comments made by their communities and those government officials who are supposed to be serving their best interest, not tearing them down.
The list will also include the names of those whose lives are cut short at the hands of others simply on the basis that they are or were perceived as being LGBT (i.e. hate crimes).
Is HIV exposure on the rise among teens and gay youth? Probably; they don’t listen and they didn’t see so many of their friends DIE as I did when this pandemic first began. It’s like anything else; people don’t pay attention until and unless you hit them where it counts. Their own health, their pocketbook, their family or their closest of friends – and with the pharmaceuticals available today, people are “living with HIV/AIDS” rather than “dying from the complications and opportunistic diseases that correlate therewith.”
Of course, there is the ADDED PROBLEM whereby uber-religious conservatives who can’t see past their unreasonable, yet (in their eyes) idyllic ideology that chastity/abstinence are the only acceptable form of behavior for unmarried persons and therefore will not get behind educating the youth on how to limit their chances of becoming exposed to the virus (such as “safer sex” involving condoms).
“God forbid should we send teenagers the message that it’s alright to have sex at all before they’re married!”
Personally speaking and in an ideal world, I would much prefer that teenagers wait until they are older and more [emotionally] prepared to have sex.” That’s in an ideal world (which doesn’t exist), however.
The next best thing is to teach these kids the importance of and how to use a condom effectively … yes, EVEN IN SPITE of the slim chance that it fails. The only alternative? Burying your head in the sand and preaching abstinence and I’m sorry but that approach simply doesn’t work. In truth, I would speculate that the Catholic Church (as are other faith-based organizations who are equally unreasonable in regards this specific topic) has contributed toward an untold number of the exposures that have occurred in recent years among Catholic youth. After all, those same youth are made to feel that “sex is dirty” and are probably inclined to do anything they can to avoid being seen purchasing condoms (because God forbid, we all know what that means). “OMG! Billy is having sex! Call the Bishop!!”
Davide, while this entry is NOT about HIV/AIDS, I have talked about that subject time and again. I have and will continue to impress upon those reading the importance of practicing safer sex and taking the time to get to know their partner better before jumping into a relationship with him or her (as I have done on so many other occasions). You simply don’t like my approach; well, I don’t agree with your “homosexual behavior is wrong” attitude — and in your eyes, that’s a failing of mine.
See… when you come on here and accuse me of not caring enough or insist that I’m only slinging mud (as you’ve done so many times I can’t even begin to count), then eventually the one you keep talking down to is going to get tired of that crap and respond in similar fashion.
I’ve gone out of my way on so many different occasions to put real thought into a response to you – or to post a comment on your own blog that you’ve asked me to weigh in on – only to be summarily dismissed. It gets really old, no matter how much I care about you.
Anyway, moving on… You think we should list the names of those who have passed away because of complications due to HIV/AIDS? Are you freaking kidding me?! There’s a big difference between recognizing some poor kid who lost hope and did take his life because of the actions of OTHERS – as compared to going on a frigging witch hunt to identify all those who died of AIDS-related opportunistic infections, etc. There is also something on the books called the HIPAA Privacy Rule. It may or may not directly apply here but regardless, I’m not going to go digging around in other peoples “health histories.” IF they passed on because of something related to HIV/AIDS, there’s any number of ways in which they might have been exposed – but bullying, hate speech and antigay legislation are factors that can more easily be directly attributed to the sense of hopelessness (thereby putting them at an increased risk of suicide) many LGBTQ youth are feeling today as they wend their way from childhood to adulthood. Is it the only factor? Certainly not but it’s one that we can damn well address if we put our minds to it and our support behind the fight (ALL of us!)
Now, if YOU want to write about those who have died from complications due to HIV/AIDS, feel free to do so. Everything (in your mind) is the fault of those of us who have or are fighting for understanding, acceptance and tolerance of LGBTQ persons anyway so it must stand to reason that this must be our fault as well. (God only knows you find “evil agendas” within and behind every frikken’ group that is trying to do some good for the community.)
As regards Fred Phelps, you’re right… Not all Christians are like him (I never said they were). That said, the man makes me angry as hell. The bastard and his motley crew of dimwitted imbeciles has picketed at my own front door (won’t discuss it), at my church and at the funeral of a very good friend’s brother who died of complications due to AIDS twenty years ago. The s.o.b. was invited to appear on a television talk show with Randy (the friend) shortly after the funeral and he was every bit as disrespectful (no surprise) and hateful there as well (again, no surprise). I HARDLY put him in the same category as ANY ordinary, run-of-the-mill Christian though (never would). That man does not have the slightest inkling of what Jesus Christ’s message is all about (and if he did, he’d chooses to ignore it entirely).
Anyway, you have your views and I have mine. You hate the gay community and any group who’s trying to work to make our lives somewhat better; I don’t. You see acts of affection between two men who love one another as a sin, aberrant and to be refrained from; I see love IN PRETTY MUCH ALL OF ITS WONDEROUS FORMS (as expressed between consenting adults), as something to be cherished and celebrated.
Whatever.
I’ve pissed up the wall as high as I plan to. You’re welcome to take another shot at me, accusing me of not giving a damn about HIV exposure among gay teens and youth or whatever else, as seems to be the case so often.
To put it another way, you can have the last word because I’m simply not going to waste my time arguing when it only serves to distract me from other, more important matters at the moment.
Peace be with you,
Michael
davide
January 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm
michael, you can be a real asshole.
MichaelM
January 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm
You were trying to push my buttons so I gave the response you were looking for. I thought that would make you happy. BTW, is calling somebody an asshole permitted by… (never mind)
MichaelM
January 26, 2012 at 12:33 am
For anyone else reading, you should know that Davide and I are in fact friends (though sometimes we don’t act as such… LOL) Please don’t respond negatively to our exchange here without first reading the comments on another blog entry where we continue our dialogue in a more peaceful and respectful manner. The truth is that while I made many points, above, that I’d been holding onto for some time … that “some” of the verbiage used could have been toned down a bit (made in a more respectful fashion). I’m human just like everybody else; I give in to my temper on occasion and when that happens, all bets are off for the moment. (I blame it on my Cherokee heritage but truth be told, we’re probably all capable of being asses now and then.)
Namaste and peace be with you,
Michael
Actually, since the time of the posting of THIS comment, the relationship between Davide and I has gone downhill. I grew tired of his constant “self-hate” over being gay and always defending his faith, even when it was clear that leaders within the Catholic Church have been very guilty of “protecting their own at too high a cost to the victims of sexual abuse (by their priests) and to LGBTQ teens who are made to feel “less than they are” because of the church’s harsh stance on homosexuality. Feel free to say whatever you wish to Davide; he’s a big boy and should be able to take anything you’re willing to dish out.
Connie
January 23, 2012 at 1:17 am
Another one?! My God, how many more have to die before our lawyers and judges and teachers wake up? Why are we so oblivious that this is going on? Children can be so cruel, and teachers and administration just stand by. They say it’s against my religion to be gay, so what. Is it against their religion to help a child who is being bullied or abused? Bible Belt or not, stupid laws or not, the life of a child outweighs them.
MichaelM
January 23, 2012 at 1:36 am
I agree (and these are only the kids we are hearing about). It’s sad that in this day and age, pundits who are so caught up in their version of “religion” can carry enough weight to get anti-gay legislation even considered – much less, passed (but they accomplish these horrible feats every day). They are no better than Fred Phelps, his cronies or the kids who beat Matthew Shepherd and left him to die hanging on a fence.