Posts Tagged ‘Gay’

Me, Myself and I (Alone with the Gay Community)

09 Dec

Ever felt like you just didn't fit in?The following question was posted to a group I follow on Facebook. “Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in with other gays??? Why?

That is such a loaded question because you have to be very careful in how you phrase a response if it’s being read by our [LGBT] own community. In my own experience, we can be a very judgmental lot.

Perhaps it is because we’ve been subjected to (more so in specific regions and definitely online) so much judgment that many of us have come to feel justified in adopting the same attitude for ourselves. With that in mind, I’m reminded of a phrase I learned early on in life. “Two wrongs do not make a right.” We — and I mean all of us — need to do a better job of trying not to judge and rather, listen to what people are saying around us. I know doing so can be difficult but you can’t grow and evolve if you’re always SHOUTING your own opinion to the point of ignoring and making it impossible to hear the opinions and truths of others.

(By “truths” I simply mean that it’s perfectly possible someone else could have experienced an entirely different set of life’s experiences so why not accept, for him or her, that what he/she is saying ISN’T intended to come across as judgment or that the individual is the slightest bit prejudice. Perhaps they’re simply expressing an opinion contrived from a different background that left them with an entirely different perspective on life than what you are used to or may have grown up around.)

Okay, I’m going to try and answer the question that was posed in the opening paragraph here without offending anyone. I’m certain that doing so will be impossible (somebody will be offended; one just has to open his or her mouth these days and say something for that to happen … LOL) but I’ll give it the good old college try nonetheless.

Yes, I [often] feel that I don’t fit in with what “seems” to best describe the values and interests of many of the gay men around me.

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LGBTQ-Related Suicides during 2012

09 Jun

The number of LGBTQ suicides for the year 2012 currently stands at...As indicated in an earlier [blog] entry, I’ll continue to focus my thoughts on everything I am thankful for (which is quite a lot) and I refuse to allow the works of those whose actions are born of hate to have their desired effect on me. That does not mean I will ignore the tragedies that are left in the wake of their hatred, however. Bullying a child for any reason is wrong, whether the abuse comes from another child or an adult. Sadly, there is a lot of bullying that is originating from BOTH these days; most notably (at the moment), from those who are trying to secure the nomination for the Republican ticket in the upcoming presidential election and as well, from the uber-conservative “we’ve got a stick up our arse” State of Tennessee!

This entry isn’t going to be a full-on rant but understand one thing… I will revise the entry each and every time I hear of yet another child or young adult whose suicide or death is somehow related to LGBTQ intolerance and bullying. It isn’t intended to be a depressing blog entry (though by its very nature it will be).

Rather, it is a reminder to any who read it of just how many senseless deaths are taking place in this one year (2012) alone as a consequence of prejudice and intolerance.

“God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.”

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To paraphrase

05 Jun

For those who can’t seem to wrap their heads around homosexuality, who justify their prejudice by regurgitating misinterpreted scripture from the Bible (or don’t even make that much of an effort to excuse their narrow-mindedness)…

Instead of focusing on “what you believe” sets us apart, why not try understanding how much we have in common (with you)? We bleed the same, we love the same, there are many gay men and women who yearn to raise families… A good many of us are faithful/spiritual/religious; a good many MORE would be if only we weren’t always being told God doesn’t condone our acceptance of ourselves. We live, we die, we work, we play… We are sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Some are over-achievers while others; well, not so much (no different than any other group of persons I suspect). Some of us are fit while others are chubby; some are clean cut and others identify as “goth.” Some work as models, hair stylists, artists (right alongside their/our straight counterparts). Still others make their living as lawyers, firemen (and women), police officers and judges, accountants, CEOs, ditch diggers, fry cooks and any number of other jobs that your average run of the mill straight guy or gal might hold. Heck, just like our heterosexual peers, some of us even play professional sports. There isn’t one single segment of society where we aren’t represented. All one need do is keep an open mind and quit spending all of his/her spare time worrying about what we’re doing behind closed doors, at home and in our own bedrooms with the one we fell in love with (who is every bit as important and an integral part of our lives as your own might be to you).

I’m not saying that every gay man or lesbian fits a certain mold. Certainly there are some who are promiscuous and hesitate to settle down, no more so than any straight man or woman in the world who feels the same calling to play the field … but don’t judge us all by the actions of some.

…If you still don’t see how much alike we are, you and I, then you’re really not trying all that hard.


Calling Gay People Out: A Response

22 Apr

I have to chuckle in the face of this (watch video depicted at right)…

I’ve been saying the exact same thing for years and years (yes, I am that old). Our community can be one of the most hypocritical communities (as can any other group of oppressed peoples) one can point a finger at. We don’t like it when we’re discriminated against by persons of a straight persuasion and we (rightfully so) take offense when those who oppress us attempt to justify their prejudice and narrow-mindedness with religious beliefs… Yet so many who are LGBTQ do the exact same thing. How many times have I read comments targeting the older gays and lesbians that are derogatory; slams made against those who are heavy, not masculine (too effeminate) or in the case of lesbians, “TOO” butch/masculine?

Dave From Canada says:

Davey, try to be patient with the Gay Community – They(we) are just starting to come into their own rightful place in society and they are letting off a lot of bottled-up steam….the nastiness, the bitchey remarks, the tremendous anger that they still feel from years (centuries!) of repression. There’s a lot of Internalized Homophobia coming out from a group of people who are just starting to see the Light at the end of the tunnel. This too shall pass. It gets better. And again, be patient. Their are a lot of hurting brothers out there – You’re doing your part to help them with your very thoughtful website. Your kindness and concern is appreciated. Peace Out ( and remember, you can’t save the world or the gay community – but you’re helping!)

I understand the comment made by “Dave From Canada” (at left) but disagree. The gay community isn’t something that has just come about. We’ve existed for many, many years. It’s true that some among us are just letting off a lot of bottled-up steam but that (just as those who use religion against us) is only an excuse for behavior that is unacceptable and unproductive.

How many times have I read on BreaktheIllusion, comments that make sweeping accusations against all persons who identify as Christian or have a belief in God (or some similar higher power)? OFTEN!

Not all persons of faith are “against us” [LGBTQ community]. Many are very accepting, as they’ve been motivated to question what they’ve been taught over the years or have discovered firsthand just how unfair the labeling of “queer persons” might be because family members of their own have since come out to them. I’d like to say that a good many of those who embrace the personality traits of bitchiness and venom are simply “much younger” and haven’t yet grown up — but that isn’t true. Many of those who make bitchy, venomous comments are in fact grown adults and their acts of [consistently] trashing others only reveals (so very well) just how childish and immature they are, even at their age.

DW said it best when he said, “Everybody wants to change the world but no one wants to change themselves.” Change must ALWAYS begin at home. How can we expect others to give to us what we aren’t even willing to give to them?


For what it’s worth, none of us can be perfect and appropriate 100% of the time. We’ll all stumble and occasionally express ourselves in a way that is anything but just and mature (regardless of our age). The above comments are directed at those who make it a habit to behave like immature, bitchy queens — the kind of person who seemingly lives only to trash and degrade others.


Matt Moore on the Straight and Narrow

29 Mar

Oh joy, here we go again… Another article from The Christian Post that talks about a young man who’s “seen the error of his ways and turned away from his [homosexual] orientation.”

It never ceases to amaze me, how some people are so quick to embrace the hypocrisy surrounding the belief the Bible “states” homosexuality is a sin. Untold damage has been thrust upon youth and some adults who find themselves struggling to accept their same-sex attractions as “normal” (for them). “Old-school, traditional churches” have tried to impress upon these same young men and women, throughout their lives, that it’s a terrible sin and surely one cannot find grace and redemption unless he/she chooses not to act on such attractions.

Many churches have re-engineered their message of bigotry and bias, now professing that “being gay (homosexual or same-sex attracted)” isn’t a sin that’ll condemn you to a life-everlasting in hellfire and damnation but “acting upon” the attraction will.

Translation:  You can “be” gay but must choose not to “act” on your natural inclinations. If successful, you get an A+, can pass “Go” and proceed directly into the arms of the heavenly Father upon your earthly demise.

It’s really sad that a lot of LGBTQ youth and young adults buy into that line of reasoning. Not because we “need more queers to make ourselves the mobile, ever-more-formidable force that we can be” {sarcasm} but only because such a reaction means they’ve given up any hope of realizing a full, loving and productive relationship with someone they can be “FULLY” attracted to. There’s nothing wrong with love, people.

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Jason and deMarco

16 Jan

 Jason Warner and Marco "deMarco" DeCiccio I was blessed to watch as a young couple, Jason Warner and Marco DeCiccio (now known simply as deMarco), sang at our church last night. I’d seen a documentary about them previously so I already knew what to expect – and they did not disappoint.

The documentary entitled “We’re All Angels” (2007) is what first brought this couple to my attention. They’ve been together for just over ten years; both are approximately 35-years old and are the proud parents of twin boys (as of last May).

Most importantly, it’s clear they put God first in their lives and are very much in love. They married one another in California before Proposition 8 was passed so are in every sense of the word, “a couple” (regardless of what those who oppose marriage equality may think).

But this blog entry isn’t about marriage equality, nor will it be an opinion piece on the fight for LGBTQ equality, acceptance, tolerance, etc. It’s simply about two beautiful young men who are building a family; a family with God at its center.

Jason, raised with a Pentecostal background, joined the staff at Unity Church of Christianity in Houston, Texas in 2007. The two perform together regularly and kicked off this year’s tour with the concert at Cathedral of Hope here in Dallas, Texas. And just in case you’re curious, deMarco grew up a Roman Catholic; he sang “Ava Maria” as a solo this evening and even though it was in Latin, it was very moving. Because it was in Latin, I don’t know if any of the lyrics had been changed or not (I suspect they were not); in his words, this is the tale of [Marco’s] own reconciliation between his sexual orientation and his faith. I have to tell you, I’ve heard the song sung before but the way that he sings it with such passion, it’s simply stunningly beautiful (but the song moves me every time that I hear somebody singing it). Listen to it for yourself (below).

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Zach Wahls on Marriage Equality

01 Dec

Zach Wahls, marriage equality's new best friend

A young 19-year-old man, raised by two women, gives one helluva good speech about family values to the Iowa House of Representatives.

Even though his impassioned plea appears to have fallen on deaf ears (inasmuch as the House of Representatives is concerned—they passed the amendment to Iowa’s state constitution by a vote of 62 to 27), his words HAVE MADE (and continue to make) a difference in the minds of many who have heard his testimony.

Zach Wahls has my respect; not because he is speaking out in favor of marriage equality but because he comes across as a genuinely honest and well-spoken man with good values. I encourage you to learn more about him by visiting his website on the Internet. Listen to his testimony before the Iowa House of Representatives and as well, the many interviews he has since given.

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Buddy, Pedro, Roy and Silo

17 Nov

There’s been some talk lately about a pair of male penguins at the Toronto Zoo (I KNEW Jorhan was a bad influence on my tuxedo-clad friends there in Canada!) Yes, Buddy and Pedro are gay. “So?” you might ask, “What’s the problem?”

It seems the pair of lovebirds are African Penguins, a genus of penguin that is on the endangered species list and the zookeepers want the males to … well, “perform.”

To that end the zoo is separating them during mating season in the hope that one or both will “copulate” with one of their female counterparts, thus helping to ensure the survival of the species. It isn’t a new concept; we humans just LOVE to tell others how to live their lives and as you might have guessed, protestors are crying “foul” over the idea that the two companions are being separated. The zoo’s curator of birds and invertebrates, Tom Mason, said he received “a call from someone claiming to represent a group called the Canadian Society for Gay Animals. (I swear, you cannot go anywhere without bumping into one of those evil homosexual advocacy groups.)

The zoo is attempting to downplay the pair’s social habits, claiming they “just need company.” “Buddy, who is twenty-one (21), had a female partner for 10 years and produced some offspring” while Pedro, 10, has yet to produce any [offspring]. Okay, so Buddy was confused for ten years, has now come out of the closet and is into twinks while Pedro is a confirmed bachelor who loves a good Daddy. Come on, you’ve got to find a little humor in that! (I wonder what a penguins’ leather scene looks like??? Just sayin’… LOL)

On a more serious note, they’re penguins! I can understand why we would find the prospect of somebody coming between two people who were in love and in a relationship upsetting. However, my heart just doesn’t bleed so much that I find the idea of separating two birds for a season in the hope we might convince one or both of them to “copulate their brains out” in order that they might help keep their species alive.

But Did You Hear?

Those nasty, evil homosexual advocacy groups must be having some success with their imaginary agendas. Not only are Buddy and Pedro gay, but so too are Roy and Silo of New York City’s Central Park Zoo. (NOW I know why I haven’t had any luck in finding myself a boyfriend; I’ve been looking in all the wrong places. I shoulda’ been going to the zoo all this time. ROFL)

Roy and Silo began “dating” in 1998, built a nest together the following year and then, in 2000, incubated an egg that another pair of penguins had fertilized and discarded until that egg hatched (“And Tango Makes Three”).

It’s TRUE, it’s ALL True!

Roy and Silo hatched themselves a plan … er, I mean daughter! She’s fast and loose, just like her fathers; nothing like that “respectable, committed heterosexual couple” who kicked her to the curb when she was nuthin’ but a helpless lil’ chick-to-be swirling around in a hard-shelled egg.

Authors Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell wrote about Roy, Silo and Tango (with illustrations by Henry Cole), only to find their book at the top of the Top Banned Books of the Year list for four years running. The book was banned from libraries, schools, etc. “more often than far more controversial books such as “The Catcher in the Rye” and “Mein Kampf.””

None of the other penguin families had a problem with Roy and Silo, or with their raising a daughter of their own.

Nope, oddly enough it’s only those [conservative], so-called “evolved” humans among our own species who cannot seem to understand the merits of teaching about love and that not all families are identical (but not necessarily any less loving).

Gives a person something to think about, doesn’t it?!


This particular post was written, tongue-in-cheek, as a humorous accounting of some true facts. I’m in no way trying to say penguins are the same as human beings (though one fact remains that there are gay couplings in both species). I hope you will enjoy the post and perhaps it may give you cause to make a few comparisons of your own. If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to watch all three videos that are included within the body of the post. —Michael


Gov’t Funds Study of Penis Size for Gay Men

14 Nov

An 'Uncle Sam' hat spilling currency out underneathArgh! When will our government learn? When will WE learn and hold our elected officials accountable for how they spend our money?

The response you are about to read may come as a surprise to some (but it shouldn’t, if you really know me at all). It’s true the federal government funds any number of studies. Sheesh, you can get government funding for pretty much anything, including it seems, a study of the “effect that a gay man’s penis size might have on his sex life and general well-being.” I kid you not! (Read about it here.)


I don’t even remember how I stumbled across this bit of news. I’m guessing I was doing a Google search for something that might give me an idea (or serve as a jumping off point for an image) for my previous blog entry. What I do recall is how I reacted when I first read about the study. (See my response below.)
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Shame on You, Dan!

05 Nov

Herman Cain vs. Dan SavageA friend (and I do consider him to be a friend despite the fact that we’re worlds apart on pretty much all matters pertaining to the LGBTQ community) writes about Dan Savage and the challenge Savage issued to Herman Cain recently.

Herman Cain has routinely and repeatedly said he believes homosexuality is a sin and a choice. In response to these assertions, Dan Savage responded with a challenge that only Dan would publicly make (though many of the rest of us who are gay, I imagine, are thinking along the same lines — we just [usually] know better than to say something so crude out loud, in a public medium). Here is what Dan said (see below):

Dear Herman,

If being gay is a choice, show us the proof. Choose it. Choose to be gay yourself. Show America how that’s done, Herman, show us how a man can choose to be gay. Suck my ##, Herman. Name the time and the place and I’ll bring my ## and a camera crew and you can suck me off and win the argument.

Very sincerely yours,
Dan Savage

I’m not saying it was appropriate for a man who has the benefit of a public platform to say what many of the rest of us (who are gay) are thinking. There is something to be said about respect and public decorum, after all; both of which I sometimes find myself in short supply of. Moreover, there is a lot about Dan Savage’s tactics that I really don’t care about in the least. As my friend says, he is a bit of a bully.

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