Posts Tagged ‘Kids’

Humor: What Kids Think

18 Feb

Isn't it precious when you see a young child deep in thought?

1.  How do you decide who to marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.

2.  What is the right age to get married?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

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Posted in Laughter


Pray for Power

10 Jul

Photo of Hibiki Kono

Modern-day Spidey, Hibiki Kono of Cambridge.

Yep, all is well until the power goes off…

“Hibiki Kono of Cambridge, England, is sucking up lots of media attention because of a wall-climbing device he invented that uses two 15-pound vacuum cleaners. You don’t have to ask this kid who his favorite superhero is. Not surprisingly, it’s Spider-Man.”

Related Links:

  • ‘Spiderman’ Vacuum Gloves Part 1:
    Lest’ you think that Hibiki was the first person to think of this (he wasn’t). Watch as Jem, from the BBC’s “Bang Goes the Theory” scales the BBC’s White City building in West London.
  • ‘Spiderman’ Vacuum Gloves Part 2:
    Can Jem make it to the top at the BBC, with just suction gloves built from ordinary vacuum cleaners?


Posted in Misc


Two reasons for doing what I do today

22 Feb

Silouette of childrenWe all have things, people, feelings, agendas; even values that are important to us. For instance, my nephew and niece mean the absolute world to me.

Though my fight to effect some change in this world began many years ago, it is often the thoughts of what my young niece and nephew (who exhibit all of the signs of being heterosexual as far as I see) will be left with one day that drives me further. They deserve better than what I feel my own generation, and those who came before us have had to contend with.

They’re teenagers now and I imagine their uncle Michael isn’t nearly as cool (to them) as he may have once seemed. Lord knows you cannot hold a teenagers interest for long these days, before their thoughts go to their friends or the time that they could be spending in front of an XBOX, Wii or Play Station. But they are my family and despite all the stubbornness they might have picked up as teens and being around their peers, they truly are two kids who (for me) embody what is best about this world. They’re kind, considerate, always quick to give their uncle a hug when he arrives and as he’s leaving and they never falter to tell me they love me as often as I tell them. They are good kids and my prayer and hope is that they will never stray from being such kind, loving and respectful people.
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Posted in Family


And a child shall lead them

10 Feb

Photo of Will PhillipsThe world needs more children who are willing to stand up (or “sit down” as is the case in West Fork, Arkansas) against prejudice when they see it.

Will Phillips refuses to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in his classroom until, in his own words liberty and justice exists for all persons. He points to the fact that gays and lesbians cannot marry and that racism and sexism is still very much a reality in our country.

Watch of the many videos taken of the young lad and form your own opinion of him. He is well-spoken and mature for his age, and he has the conviction to stand up for what he believes. So what if he allowed his frustration to get the better of him (after being pressed for several days to recite the pledge) when he told the substitute teacher she could “go jump off a bridge.” He said it with style (lol) and I believe he has even apologized for any perceived disrespect toward the teacher. She should apologize to him for being an asshat and not respecting his right to exercise his freedom of speech (or lack of it, in this case). Watch any of the videos and form your own opinion though.

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You Can’t Say THAT In School!

20 Mar

I know it shouldn’t but it’s baffling to me how some people can get elected. Do they really represent the opinions and wishes of their constituents or are they simply expressing their own prejudice; attitudes born of an ignorance going back hundreds of years?

stacey-campfieldTake Tennessee’s Representative Stacey Campfield of Knoxville for instance. He filed legislation in January which if passed will prevent “any instruction or materials discussing sexual orientation other than heterosexuality” within public elementary and middle schools.

Claiming that this was in response to a resolution by the National Education Association that suggests schools provide information on diversity of sexual orientation and gender identification in sex-education classes, Campfield stated that schools “should stick to the basics: reading, writing and arithmetic.” He goes on to say, “It confuses a lot of children that are already in a difficult part of life, and it’s a very complex issue.”

Extracted from Hey, ya know [what] makes that “difficult part of life” even more difficult? Not being able to speak openly about your sexuality. Or, let’s say, gay writer Tennessee Williams, who last we checked still counted as an important part of America’s education.

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Posted in Politics


Harry: Should he be in the 1st Grade or the 3rd?

17 Jan

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem?’

Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rdgrade too!’

Ms Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: ‘What is 3 x 3?’

Harry: ‘9.’

Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’

Harry: ’36.’

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.’

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, ‘Let me ask him some questions.’

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’

Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’

Ms Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: ‘Pockets’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’

Harry: !’Pants.’

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?’

Harry: ‘Coconut.’

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: ‘What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?’

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, ‘Bubble gum.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?’

Harry: ‘Shake hands.’

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: ‘What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?’

Harry: ‘Fire truck.’

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ‘Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong……’


Growing Up Isn't What It Used To Be

13 Jan

‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’

‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’

‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’

‘It was a place called ‘at home,’ I explained! ‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.

Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 19.

It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza; it was called ‘pizza pie.’

When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room.

The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers –my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies.. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without 20 profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?


"When I Grow Up"

10 Dec

We’ve all seen it happen. Children with their oh-so-wonderful and fresh look at life are asked to describe something they’ve seen or done or what something means and, well… Let the drawing below be a lesson to mama’s everywhere. “Check your child’s homework ALWAYS before letting them leave for school in the morning.” LOL!!


(here’s the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Mrs. Smith