Posts Tagged ‘Stereotype’

Me, Myself and I (Alone with the Gay Community)

09 Dec

Ever felt like you just didn't fit in?The following question was posted to a group I follow on Facebook. “Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in with other gays??? Why?

That is such a loaded question because you have to be very careful in how you phrase a response if it’s being read by our [LGBT] own community. In my own experience, we can be a very judgmental lot.

Perhaps it is because we’ve been subjected to (more so in specific regions and definitely online) so much judgment that many of us have come to feel justified in adopting the same attitude for ourselves. With that in mind, I’m reminded of a phrase I learned early on in life. “Two wrongs do not make a right.” We — and I mean all of us — need to do a better job of trying not to judge and rather, listen to what people are saying around us. I know doing so can be difficult but you can’t grow and evolve if you’re always SHOUTING your own opinion to the point of ignoring and making it impossible to hear the opinions and truths of others.

(By “truths” I simply mean that it’s perfectly possible someone else could have experienced an entirely different set of life’s experiences so why not accept, for him or her, that what he/she is saying ISN’T intended to come across as judgment or that the individual is the slightest bit prejudice. Perhaps they’re simply expressing an opinion contrived from a different background that left them with an entirely different perspective on life than what you are used to or may have grown up around.)

Okay, I’m going to try and answer the question that was posed in the opening paragraph here without offending anyone. I’m certain that doing so will be impossible (somebody will be offended; one just has to open his or her mouth these days and say something for that to happen … LOL) but I’ll give it the good old college try nonetheless.

Yes, I [often] feel that I don’t fit in with what “seems” to best describe the values and interests of many of the gay men around me.

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Relationships, their Health and Well-Being

06 Feb

graphic of woman tossing man's heart in trash canAnother blogger (David Jakes aka Davey Wavey on “” writes about gay relationships and how some of them seem to last, by comparison, in dog years. In my opinion, he makes some pretty good points but I’m also inclined to offer up a few additional observations.

Consider what DW says in his post as he compares why gay couples might work less diligently to save a relationship in trouble, as compared to a married straight couple:

  • It’s less common for gay people to be “parents” and with the absence of children involved, one less reason to work on saving a relationship that seems headed for failure; and
  • Gay couples aren’t allowed (“in most places”) to take their relationship to the next level (marriage) and in the absence of such, perhaps we just don’t feel there’s as much at stake (dividing of assets, spousal support and in the absence of children, clearly there’s no child support to be concerned with);

One comment made in response to DW’s blog entry talks about he (the person who was making the comment) had spent years acting like a slut before doing something “drastic to break the cycle” (be celibate for a year). I don’t know about the “being celibate” part (I don’t see myself intentionally withholding from myself, the possibility of having some good, hot sex with a man I’m attracted to) but I do agree with something else this commenter did say. We DO need to “personally hold ourselves to a higher standard, and determine that we are worthy of being loved completely and fully.

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An Apology of Sorts

05 Dec

I'm so sorryIt occurs to me that my last two posts demonstrate a conflicting set of values. In Respect, Given and Received I focus on the need to be mindful that there are real people reading your comments made on the Internet and therefore, you’d do well to show some respect. This is what I believe.

However, in my last entry (“The A-List” gets a Failing Grade), my words were anything but respectful. I suppose I should take a couple of moments to elaborate on why these two entries could appear side by side. In the first [moment] I want to apologize for what was clearly a rant and in the next [moment] I’ll explain why this show solicited such a reaction from me.

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Jumping Ahead..

06 Sep

Photo montage of drunk on park bench, commode and popeA man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.

The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, father, what causes arthritis? ”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man. ”

“Well I’ll be damned!” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis? ”

“Oh, I don’t have it father! I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

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Posted in Misc


My thoughts on stereotypes, self-confidence and perceptions

26 Jul

Stereotypes posterI believe that EVERYBODY has something about which they’re prejudiced.

It might be their attitude toward immigrants or persons of a different nationality, or perhaps against those whose sexual orientation is different. Their prejudice may be expressed in their opinions of religion and/or any and all of the varied faiths that run its gamut. Alternatively, the bigotry that invades their everyday thoughts is possibly directed at members of the [financial] upper class; those who represent the “haves” while they themselves are among the “have not’s.”

Whatever intolerance a person might feel, it may be rooted in their perception of how they believe they’ve been aggrieved by the focus of their prejudice; either personally, or as a member of a group of persons he or she identifies with.

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Posted in Health


Are We Better or “Bitter” for Expressing Ourselves?

18 Jul

Cartoon of happy womanIt’s been suggested (more than once) by a friend that I’m a bitter and angry individual; that I’m not happy.

While I’ve probably many reasons for allowing anger and bitterness to take over my life (by the reasoning of some) I would have to say, “No, I’m no more or less so today than any other person walking the earth, including the friend who made this observation.”

That does not mean that I’m not concerned with and disappointed in some of what I see going on in the world today.

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Authenticity and Diversity

27 Jun

Photograph of five persons holding handsI sometimes wonder if we haven’t become a nation of self-involved children, having lost sight of the value of both, authenticity AND diversity.

I value authenticity above most things. (I won’t say that I value it above “life” as I can’t really say, until I’m faced with such a decision just how I would react to a situation in which I had to choose life OR authenticity at the risk of being killed. Could be that I would choose life… I really don’t know for certain (but I have a sneaky suspicion I would choose authenticity — I’m a stubborn goat and my opinions and my heart generally guide my actions).

I also value diversity; diversity among those within our nation and diversity within its many communities, the LGBT community included. That is not to say I haven’t developed a few prejudices of my own over the years; I have and I freely admit to those failings. I’ll talk more about diversity in a moment.

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Warning! For mature audiences only..

11 Jun

Don’t watch this video if you have a weak stomach in combination with a vivid imagination or no sense of humor.

It shouldn’t but it never ceases to surprise me how some people just do not understand that you cannot put everybody in a box. I mean, I’ve heard the stereotypical comments that all black people are lazy (not true). I’ve heard some refer to all Mexicans as “illegal aliens” (not true). I’ve heard the claims that all Puerto Ricans are thieves (not true). On a more personal note and on any given day
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Posted in Politics


Here’s your green card

08 Mar

Photo of sarcastic FrenchmanYou always hear about immigrants and “Green” cards (are they REALLY green?) In the gay community, we get Rainbow cards! So much more colorful and so much more difficult to keep; you have to work hard to maintain membership in the gay community. (We never do anything half-ass; even pettiness is an art!) Ouch! Okay, clearly intended to be an expression of my dry humor.
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Did I make the wrong choice?

11 Feb

Cartoon of two salt shakers togetherOkay, so the title for this journal entry is misleading (because in truth, what I’m talking about … I didn’t “choose.”)

Many of those who have issues with homosexuality believe we made a “choice” to be gay. I’ve heard it a thousand times and to be perfectly honest, I don’t know how best to confront such (imo) misperceptions. My first reaction is always to ask if they “made a choice to be straight.” That question is usually met with a long pause, followed by, “Well, no, I’m just normal” (as if what I am is an aberration.)
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