Posts Tagged ‘suicide’

Sending mixed messages

18 Jan

Love is UniversalThe day began as pretty much every weekday morning does; with the annoying, raised volume of the digital alarm clock and the gentle (but equally annoying) tone of the alarm on my mobile phone fighting for attention. There are mornings I’d like to take both and baptize ’em in the toilet! LOL

However, my normal routine took a nosedive when I checked the site of another blogger just before leaving for the office. Davey had posted a number of entries since my last visit to his site but one entry in particular caught my eye and set the tone for the remainder of the day.

In his blog, he writes about Eric James Borges, a nineteen (19) year old writer, filmmaker and [gay] son who was kicked out of his family’s home because of his sexual orientation.

This is where I might customarily go on a rant, expressing my outrage at the families of LGBTQ youth who respond to the news of their child’s sexual orientation by withholding love, support and in this case, shelter but I am tired of being angry. I’m tired of allowing rage to play such a significant part in my life, even when it’s in response to wrongdoing that seems painfully clear (to me) yet still exists in an age when we’re supposed to have evolved past this sort of nonsense.

It’s reported Eric took his own life on Wednesday (1/13/2012), not all that long after describing his own tribulations with his birth family after they found out he was a homosexual. He described his life in an It Gets Better video a couple of months ago.

I didn’t know Eric personally but his death has affected me on a deep level today. Perhaps because (in ONE respect) this sounds so reminiscent of the suicide of a much younger teenager, Jamie Rodemeyer. Jamie had also posted an It Gets Better video, only to take his own life shortly thereafter. What a disturbing trend.

It doesn’t escape my attention that earlier this week, as I was doing some research for another blog entry, I stumbled across a link to a video about Reciprocity Foundation, a foundation that helps homeless youth in the five boroughs of New York City. The number of homeless children in NYC alone are staggering at thirty-eight thousand (38,000). What I find equally distressing is (according to the video) approximately 40% of those youth identify as LGBTQ. Draw your own conclusions.

It makes me want to cry, that in a world where our children should be cherished, they are instead turned out of their homes, bullied, made to feel “less than” or like freaks/sinners/demons (insert choice of label here) and too often have such low self-esteem that taking their lives seems like a plausible answer.

It’s late (11:11) but I’m getting dressed to go walk the labyrinth at one of the churches where I sometimes attend services. This day has been entirely too emotionally demanding.


Please send up a prayer for children everywhere,
gay and straight… that they might be filled with hope instead of despair, courage instead of fear.

Youth who are having thoughts of suicide (in need of support) can contact the Trevor Lifeline at (toll-free) 866-488-7386. Please make the call; your life is too precious to take for granted.


Jamie Hubley, Another Life Lost

02 Dec

I’m weeks late in commenting on this (a lot going on in my personal life) but another gay teenager took his own life recently (11/14).

Jamie Hubley from Ottawa, Canada was in tenth grade and wrote that he was tired of life and couldn’t take it anymore. Friends say that all he wanted was a boyfriend, which prompts me to [again] point out that one cannot hang his or her happiness on being in a relationship.

Whether you’re straight, gay, bisexual, purple, white or green, you need to work on being happy with yourself rather than depending on another to do it for you. (Yes, it’s sometimes easier said than done but please hang in there and keep trying.)

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Gay Teen Suicide; Real or Imagined?

02 Oct

A tribute to those young people who took their lives because of the pressures they felt, perceived or real, at the hands of unforgiving parents and/or peers in school.

As for those concerned about the environment, who might ask, “But the balloons must fall back to ground somewhere, at some point, right?” Yes, the material returns to earth (which is why DW used biodegradable balloons made of latex, a 100% natural substance that degrades at a rate faster than an oak leaf). Visit if you want to see what actually happens when rubber latex balloons are released into the environment; it isn’t nearly as terrible a fate for the environment as one might originally have thought. The key is “biodegradable.” As for the ribbons tied to the balloons, I would imagine one can find biodegradable string out there, as well – or create a box of foamboard under which the balloons can be placed prior to their release (without any ribbons tied to the balloons at all); then, simply open the top to release the balloons into the sky.

Regardless, let us not lose sight of the real problem, which is the bullying that is taking place in and about the world of these young people. Bullying that has led to their giving up any hope for a brighter future, to the extent these youth have chosen instead to take their own lives.

I’m not suggesting we should pass more legislation, to outlaw bullying and make it a criminal offense (certainly, the government intrudes on all of our lives more than is necessary already). But we should all be mindful of the pressures our youth are facing, just growing up — and certainly it is no easier for the young boy or girl who feels all alone in the world because he or she is struggling with his or her own sexual identity and orientation. As human beings, we should strive to be more understanding, accepting and tolerant of others; even those with whom we may not feel we can identify with or relate to on a personal level. Parents especially, should make it a priority to impress upon their own children the need to be open-minded and mindful of the consequences that their child’s actions have on his or her peers and most certainly teach their kids that “all life is invaluable” and people are deserving of respect, the right to express their individuality and the freedom to pursue their happiness as they see fit to do so without judgment and condemnation from their peers.

Yes, it is a lot to ask for but in the end it’s simply a matter of respect; something we all yearn for and something every child deserves. It’s such a loss when a child, who has his or her entire life ahead of them, chooses instead to take that life because [it] “seems hopeless.”


Related Links:

  • The Trevor Project → “The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.”
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline → 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis.
  • → Dedicated to providing teens and young adults with the resources to improve their understanding of mental health issues, develop resilience, build coping-skills and increase help-seeking behavior.
  • IT GETS BETTER PROJECT → A project aimed at motivating young teens who are trying to cope with peer pressure and a sense of loneliness combined with their struggle over being LGBTQ that there truly “is” hope for the future, despite what they may be experiencing at the moment.

Posted in Health


Bystanders, have Courage

13 Aug

I had heard Ryan Halligan’s story before but this video almost brought me to tears. A young teen who took his own life after being cyber-bullied and bullied at school. This has nothing to do with a child being gay (I think he was straight, actually) but more to do with the fragility that all kids face while growing up and enduring the pressure and taunts of their peers.

Why can some kids be so cruel and why do so many of us sit on the sidelines rather than get involved to stop the bullying? I don’t know the answer to the former [question] and as to the latter, it probably has more to do with trying to avoid becoming the center of the attention (and taunts) oneself at that age. It takes courage to put yourself out there sometimes to do what is right and to take up for the underdog.

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Sounding Off about Suicide

17 Jul

Davey, Ihave no real gay or any kind of friends that would be my pals just for my as I am. Thay are all just for my money and sice Iam 41 yers old, I’m not atractive, good piece of guy to have a sex or being friend to and I am alone. See no future a head of me and I am afraid that my life has no sence at all. I work as a doctor in hospital in my hometown and my job does not forfilled me any more.I’m just so afraid of future. Thinking of suicide ‘couse I’m just so tired of being used and abused so far, don’t belive in love, friendship….I don’t need life like this…love you Dave..enjoy your life. Alex from Serbia.

Comment from “Break The Illusion.”

This entry is simply an extract of a response I gave to someone who made a comment over on Davey Wavey’s “Break The Illusion” website (shown at the right). The gentleman is assumedly from Serbia and is a doctor. (I say “assumedly” because who can really tell with the Internet? People misrepresent themselves all the time so I take nothing for granted unless and until I talk with somebody personally and have had an opportunity to get to know him or her over a long period of time. Even then, people can fool you into thinking they are being honest when in fact they’re anything but. One young man comes readily to mind when I make that statement.)

At any rate, when someone talks of suicide you should take them seriously. Even if the pertinent facts of who they are and where they’re from aren’t something you can prove or disprove, the fact that this person is talking about ending his or her life is a clear indication the person is in pain and is close to having given up all hope life will ever be any different than it now seems to be.

That a 41-year old doctor; one who surely has had much education and experience is considering taking his own life should come as no surprise. Suicide isn’t about “intelligence” or “where you hail from”; it is about having given up all hope. You’re in a constant state of despair and feel that, whatever your present circumstances may be, that they will NEVER change and you are only in for years and years of isolated torment.

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A Lad takes his Life

26 Jan

Photo of Sophomore Steven TaylorI was going to post a different blog entry earlier today but to be honest, it’s more of a rant and I just don’t feel like posting one of those right now.

Besides, this has been bothering me ever since I read about the death of this young man earlier in the month. To be honest I think it’s part of the reason why I haven’t been writing what some might call my “deeper, more thought-out entries” of late — that and not feeling too well there for a while.

That said, I’ve been intending on posting about this and tonight (even though I thought I was going to be in bed by now) seems to be the night to talk about it. I don’t know the details but I simply can’t stop thinking about the decision this teen (Sophomore Steven Taylor) did make to commit suicide (Thursday, January 6, 2011). I’m troubled every time that I hear about somebody so young taking their life because I know what it took for me to contemplate the same thing; a total feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. For our youth to feel this way so early on in their lives; it’s unsettling and…

It’s a [censored] tragedy, that much is for damn certain!

I can’t imagine the terrible loss Steven’s family must be experiencing; the feelings of confusion that must be going through the minds of his friends and classmates.

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When Love Dies

12 Aug

I think I canI was reading a comment on another’s blog early this morning and my heart wept. The man’s partner recently revealed he was no longer in love with him; they had been together for thirteen years.

This man is feeling an onslaught of fear and doesn’t seem to know if he even wants to live any longer. I understand that feeling; I LIVED with that kind of fear, even while I was still with my [now] ex-partner for the better half of our six and a half years together.

Even as I left him in 2001, I wasn’t certain I wanted to continue. The pain was so great and my sense of self-worth, non-existent.

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Michael Ray Huerta’s Birthday Wish..

08 Jul

What follows is a video that I stumbled across on earlier today; a video which I wanted to share with you because it helps to explain WHY I do some of the things I do myself.

I did not struggle as much with accepting my sexuality as others have done over the years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand the pain some do go through as they themselves grow into young GLBTQ adults. It’s [often] not an easy task to accommodate; feeling as though you are SOOOoo different from the majority of those around you (or worse yet, as though you are undeserving of the same respect and love that others may seem to take for granted on any given day).

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A couple of comments relating to my last blog entry…

09 Sep

I’m taking the liberty of posting a comment that I received over on Topix while discussing the matter of Jason Cartwright’s suicide on the school grounds of P.R. Levya in my hometown (Carlsbad, New Mexico) here within my own blog. My response will follow as well as another observation I would like to make with regards to suicidal thoughts. After all, any one person is at risk of committing suicide given the right set of circumstances and an overwhelming sense of despair.
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Suicide on P.R. Levya lawn (an observation)

09 Sep

Poster for suicideA twenty-nine year old young man took his own life on the lawn of P.R. Levya (school for grades 6 through 8, previously known as Mid High in the 1970’s) during the early morning hours of September 3, 2009. This happened during my visit with family in Carlsbad, New Mexico this past week. I don’t really know the specifics behind what led him to do such a thing but as you can imagine, the suicide has given rise to a lot of speculation and even condemnation (as is often the case) of the one who took his own life.
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